Your interpretation of stoicism exaggerates it’s relationship to the Roman Empire. Like Socrates, Seneca also was willing to end his life out of conviction. There is radical mettle here, and not merely convenience.

I get it that you dislike self help culture. But occasionally they get things right. Far from legitimizing incessant consumerism, stoicism actually holds nature in sacred regard. So us stoics watch in horror at the stupidity of humans who believe that by churning the world for wealth they can fill the hole in their culture. Nothing could be further from the truth. The hole is filled by virtue, connection to others and the natural world. So you have turned stoicism into its opposite; from a way out of destructive consumerism, to its defense. I’m not sure why, given it doesn’t hide what it attempts.